Scott & Ramona's Precious Little Wedding
by ApellaZant
Summary: Ever wonder how the wedding of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers would play out? Lily Pilgrim, their daughter, has wanted to know her entire life. She finally corners her aunt Lisa into telling her the story as it "really" happened.
1. Prologue: The Proposal

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim story or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A/N: And so another story begins. As much as I'd like to think of myself as a newcomer, I guess when you're going into your third story, you can't really claim ignorance. Let's see if I can keep the momentum going. And for those of you coming from my latest story, "One Night of Trouble," hopefully this one will give some closure to that story. Just... not in the prologue. Sorry. :-) Guess you'll just have to keep reading (See what I did there? Good stuff, right?). Anyway, hope you enjoy this little story!

**Scott and Ramona's Precious Little Wedding**

**Prologue**

Lily Pilgrim **(Age: 19, Status: Loving Summer Vacation!)** walked out on her aunt Lisa's back porch. The house was set on the side of a giant hill, with the porch overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was beautiful, complete with the sun setting over the horizon, turning the sky a brilliant shade of orange.

"Beautiful, right?" said her aunt, Lisa Miller **(Age: You should know better than to ask *wink*, Occupation: Big Time Hollywood Actress)** as she joined Lily on the porch.

"Yeah. And here I thought America was nothing but smog and trash," Lily teased.

"Eh… that's a little further up the beach," Lisa answered with a smile. "I had to make sure I was far away from that stuff. You know… Canadians loving clean wilderness and such."

The two sat for a long moment, just looking out at the beach. Finally, Lily asked a question. It had been tickling at her brain for the last few weeks, ever since her own harrowing experiences fighting proxies of her mother's evil ex-boyfriends.

"Aunt Lisa… what was Mom and Dad's wedding like?" she questioned.

Lisa smiled. "Well… to use a word that your dad uses a lot, it was awesome. Of course, I wasn't there for everything. Had a big movie shoot to do. It was all related to me when I got there by your aunt Kim. I can tell you the whole story if you want."

"That's why I asked," Lily responded with a grin.

"Then let's go inside… this story is gonna take longer than the daylight we've got left, and the mosquitoes out here are ridiculous," Lisa said as she started inside.

Lisa's living room was decorated to closely match the beach outside. Lily sat down on a couch that was the same color as the sand, while Lisa leaned back in a similarly colored chair, looking up at the ceiling fan as it slowly spun.

"I don't have to tell you what happened while your parents were dating. You were educated in that quite recently," Lisa began, "so I'll start at the moment all these types of stories start… with a guy who has absolutely NO IDEA what he's getting himself into…"

**ENGAGED!**

"Dude, are you sure? I mean… this is pretty heavy stuff."

Stephen Stills **(Status: Nervous for his friend)** had stopped in mid-chop of a cucumber meant for the garden salad he was making. Across the Happy Avocado kitchen, Scott Pilgrim **(Age: 25, Status: Let's not lie people… he's pretty nervous himself)** stood at the sink, busily washing dishes. Stephen stared at him in disbelief.

"I know… believe me, I know," Scott answered. He had TRIED to nonchalantly toss out his surprise announcement, but had of course failed miserably. "But… it seems like the next thing that needs to happen, right?"

Stephen looked down at his half chopped cucumber. "I just can't believe you're actually gonna do it… you're actually gonna take guitar lessons."

"It's what Shatterband needs to make it to the next level," Scott replied.

Stephen went back to chopping his cucumber, shaking his head. "I thought you guys weren't into the serious band stuff. Weren't you just having fun with the whole thing?"

"Yeah… we just decided we wanted to play in front of actual people… not just Gideon and Rammy," Scott said. **(With Knives off at college, and Youn… I mean… "NEIL" developing taste, the demographic for Shatterband was pretty slim… never mind that Scott just said his girlfriend wasn't an "actual person")**.

Stephen shrugged his shoulders. Made sense. He continued chopping the cucumber in silence.

"Oh… and I'm gonna ask Rammy to marry me," Scott spit out suddenly.

"**XXXX!**" cursed Stephen as the knife slipped and sliced his finger.

...

**"**So remind me again why I'M the one doing this with you," Kim Pine **(Age: 25, Status: Annoyed that she's here on one of her only days off)** said as she walked down the sidewalk with Scott Pilgrim.

"Because I need someone who would know what Ramona likes in jewelry," Scott replied, matter-of-factly.

**"**Right," Kim sighed in exasperation. "Scott… what in our years of knowing each other has shown you that I would even CARE what type of jewelry Ramona likes?"

"I don't know… I thought maybe you had talked about it at a slumber party or something," Scott answered **(Scott Pilgrim's Ideas About Slumber Parties: Girls talking about boys and jewelry, possibly involving underwear, pillow fights and experimental kissing? *shudder*)**.

"Slumber party?" Kim asked incredulously.

Kim glared at Scott out of the corner of her eye as they walked in the door of a small jeweler **(WatchCraft Jewelers: Est. 1941)**. The attendant behind the main counter greeted them almost immediately.

"Hello! How may I help you today?" the attendant asked.

Scott looked around for a moment. There were more shiny objects in this one room than he'd seen in his entire life. Abruptly, Kim smacked him in the back of the head in an effort to refocus him.

"So… are we going to buy a ring for your girlfriend, or are you just going to stand there like a drooling idiot?" she growled. Kim wasn't very happy about giving up her day off, much less spending it ring shopping for Ramona Flowers' engagement ring **(Kim Pine Note: Really? What gave you THAT idea?)(Lisa Miller Note: No reason to get snippy, Kim…)**.

Scott shook his head and walked up to the counter. "I'm trying to pick out an awesome engagement ring for my girlfriend…"

The attendant smiled. "Say no more, sir. I've got just the thing!" She walked back through a door and returned a moment later with a small box. She opened it and placed it on the counter for Scott and Kim to see. "This is our special right now... the 'B'tub Ring," she said after allowing them to admire it for a second.

Scott looked at the ring. It was small and gold, with a red ruby inset. A beautiful ring to be sure. "So... what stat upgrades does this give?" he asked. **(Kim Pine Note: Oh my God you can't be serious...)**.

The attendant didn't miss a beat. "It doesn't offer much in the way of protection, but it DOES offer a +4 to magical offense."

Kim stared at the attendant, her left eye twitching. Scott, however, was in full negotiation mode, and he leaned forward over the ring. "She doesn't really use magic offense very much. She's more of a warrior type, so we kind of need increased attack power."

The attendant thought for a moment. "I'm afraid we don't have much that can increase attack power, but we DO have the Jinx Ring, which prevents instant death," she replied, closing the box. **(Kim Pine Note: Shoot me... just shoot me now)**.

"Instant death? That sounds bad," Scott said, mulling the offer over. "How much is that one?"

"7000 dollars," the attendant answered.

Kim coughed in surprise. "7000 dollars? Well... looks like we're not getting THAT one!"

Scott thought for a moment and then pulled out a large bag of coins. **(Kim Pine Note: Wait... where the heck did THAT come from?)** Kim looked at him with wide eyes as the attendant inspected the bag and its contents. "Should that cover it?" Scott asked, a big smile on his face.

"I'll have to count it of course, but just looking... yeah... I'd say we're good," the attendant answered as she picked up the bag and took it to the back room.

Kim stared at Scott for a long time, in utter disbelief. Finally, she found her voice. "Scott... where did you get that bag from? Did you have that when we came in?"

"Yeah," Scott answered.

"So... where was it? I don't remember seeing you with that bag."

Scott shrugged his shoulders. "I had it Kim... it was just in my pocket."

Kim shook her head, still trying to make sense of what she just saw. "Ooookay... forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't you a DISHWASHER at the Happy Avocado?"

"Yeah," Scott replied.

"So... regardless of where you got the bag from... where the hell did you get all that money?" Kim demanded.

"Gideon," Scott said with a smile.

"So... you're telling me that you're buying your girlfriend an INSANELY expensive engagement ring with the money you got from killing her last ex-boyfriend?" Kim asked.

"Exactly," Scott said.

Kim couldn't help but smile a bit. "Scott Pilgrim... damn, I can't even finish that sentence," she said as the attendant came back to the counter with the empty bag and another small box. Scott took the box and opened it. The ring itself was white gold, but had a sparkling emerald inset. It sparkled in the sunlight as Scott held it up to inspect it. Meanwhile, Kim just rolled her eyes. "Yeah... remember what I said about if your life had a face... still stands," she muttered as she patted him on the back.

...

Wallace Wells **(Status: Still Gay!)** poured himself another margarita as Scott sat down on the couch. Wallace looked at him and smiled. "So... what can I do ya for?"

"Wallace, you know how awkward that sounds," Scott said.

"Exactly why I say it," Wallace replied as he sat down across from Scott on a tan couch.

...

"Wait," Lily said. "Uncle Wallace gave you THIS couch?"

Lisa smiled. "Yes he did. He said he figured a big time actress would need it more than he did."

"Cool," Lily replied, having a new found liking to this couch **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Since it came from my favorite uncle!)**. "Continue."

...

"So, being serious for a second, what DO you want, Scott?" Wallace asked, taking a sip of his drink.

"I was wondering... if I could borrow your apartment for a night," Scott stammered.

"Really Scott? I thought you had your own apartment for cuddling," Wallace said as he cut his eyes at Scott.

"Not for cuddling," Scott said, waving his hand. "No... I'm going to propose to Rammy, and my apartment... well... Kim lives there with me and apparently, that's not very romantic." **(Ramona Flowers Note: Correct)**

Realization dawned on Wallace's face as he slowly grinned. "Well look at that... Scott Pilgrim actually manning up? Your mom would be so proud."

"Leave my mom out of this, Wallace," Scott replied.

"Never," Wallace said as he took another long drink from his glass. "And in answer to your question, of course you can borrow my apartment for your little proposal. After all... what kind of mentor figure would I be if I denied you that?"

Scott's cell phone **(Read: Ramona's cell phone that she lent Scott for the day)** rang. He quickly flipped it open and answered to hear the voice of his sister on the other end.

"Scott, what's this I hear about you getting engaged?" Stacey Pilgrim **(Age: 20, Status: Incredibly Informed Little Sister)** demanded.

"How did you know? I haven't told anyone except Kim, Stephen and Wallace!" Scott retorted.

"Wallace, duh," Stacey replied.

Scott glanced incredulously at Wallace. "But... how? I'm looking right at him! He doesn't even have his..." Scott stopped as Wallace pulled his cell phone out from behind his back. "...that gossipy..."

"Sorry Scott," Wallace said with a smile as he went to get a refill on his drink.

"Just wait til I tell Mom that you're getting engaged and you weren't even going to tell her!" Stacey teased from the other end of the phone.

"I was planning on telling her... just... not... yet?" Scott stammered.

...

"So, the plan was all laid out," Lisa said. "Scott would fix dinner at Wallace's apartment, and he hid the ring in the chair. Once they were cuddling after dinner, he'd pull it out and propose. It was simple, but effective."

"Why do I get the feeling that's not everything that happened?" Lily asked, cocking her eyebrow.

"Well... it's Scott Pilgrim. Nothing's ever THAT simple..."

...

Ramona Flowers **(Fun Fact: Has NO idea that Scott is about to propose... but is smart enough to know SOMETHING'S going on)** walked down the sidewalk alongside her boyfriend, Scott Pilgrim.

"So you're sure he's okay with this?" she asked.

"Of course!" Scott replied **(Status: Full of nervous energy)**. "We have an understanding."

"I've heard THAT one before," Ramona replied.

Wallace's apartment was located in downtown Toronto, overlooking the city. Scott practically bounded up the stairs, trying his hardest to contain his excitement as Ramona trudged up after him **(Ramona Flowers Note: Hey! You try climbing that many stairs after a full day of roller blading!)**.

"Seriously... I don't think I've seen you this excited since they announced Skyward Sword," Ramona sighed as Scott helped her up the last few stairs.

"What can I say? It's exciting to be spending the evening with the greatest girl in Toronto?" Scott said with an innocent shrug.

"Uh huh," Ramona said.

After some momentary confusion with the key **(Wallace Wells Note with Spare Key: Figured you'd forget it. Here's a spare. I expect the original back too!)**, Scott opened the door and allowed Ramona in. The apartment smelled of pasta and garlic, a familiar odor for Scott's dinners **(Scott Pilgrim Note: Trying to learn new stuff, but tonight isn't the night for new. It's the night for perfect!)**. Ramona took great care to "oooo" and "ahh" at the spread laid out on the table.

"Good to see you DO actually know how to use a table," Ramona teased.

Scott folded his arms. "I know how to use one... I've just never had one."

A short time later, Scott and Ramona were sitting on the couch, basking in the glow of a dinner eaten. Scott eyed the chair across the room, where he knew something very special was hidden.

"This was great, honey," Ramona sighed contentedly.

"Yeah... hey... you wanna move over to the chair?" Scott asked.

"Why?" Ramona asked. "I'm quite comfortable over here on the couch."

_Uh oh..._

"What?" Ramona looked up at Scott.

"Umm... nothing. I mean... I thought we might just wanna sit on the chair for a little while," Scott tried to play his suggestion off.

Ramona shrugged. "If you want, I guess."

The two got up and walked over to the chair. Scott sat down first, with Ramona sitting down on his lap. "See? Much more comfortable," Scott said with a smile.

Ramona lifted an eyebrow. "If you say so," she smirked.

Scott leaned back and smiled, all the while trying to stealthily feel around in the cushions of the chair for that little box. As he kept feeling around for it though... he didn't find it. He started digging more frantically.

"Whoa! I know Wallace probably has change in his couch cushions, but are you really trying to steal it?" Ramona asked, watching Scott as he rummaged in the cushions.

"But... but..." Scott stammered.

Both of them heard the bedroom door open. As Scott's eyes went wide with horror, a slightly sleepy **(slightly drunk?)** Wallace Wells stumbled out of his bedroom, dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of biker shorts. He took one look at Scott and Ramona sitting in the chair and smiled.

"Congratulations to the newly engaged couple!" he yelled, lifting an imaginary glass in salute.

"Newly engaged?" Ramona asked.

Wallace's smile dropped. So did Scott's head.

"Did I say engaged?" Wallace backpedaled. "I meant... obviously... the newly well fed couple!" he exclaimed as he walked over to the table, which was still full of dishes. After a quick inspection of the table though, Wallace looked at Scott. "Umm... Scott? Were you looking for something?"

"Yeah," Scott groaned.

"Is this it?" Wallace said as he held up a small box.

Ramona's eyes grew as big as saucers as she got off of Scott and slowly backed up to the couch. Scott stood up and walked over to the table, taking the ring from Wallace and wiping it off. Then he took a deep breath and turned around. Ramona was sitting on the couch, still freaking out just a little **(Ramona Flowers Note: A little? A LITTLE?**)**.**

"Ramona Victoria Flowers..." Scott began as he walked toward Ramona. "Ever since you first skated through my dreams, I knew you were the one for me. And even through defeating all of your evil ex-boyfriends, I knew that, at the end of it all, I'd spend my life with you. But I have to ask you a question before we can do that..."

Scott reached the couch and opened the box, revealing the shining emerald ring **(Jinx Ring! Effects: Prevents Instant Death! Also... Gets Your Girlfriend to become your fiancee!)**. Ramona's eyes locked on the ring.

"Rammy... will you marry me?" Scott said as he got down on a knee.

"YES!" Ramona nearly screamed. "Of course I will!"

As Scott finished putting the ring on her finger, she lunged forward and kissed him harder than she ever had before. After that, she hugged him for a long time.

"So... I did good?" Scott asked.

Ramona smiled on Scott's shoulder and looked at the ring on her hand. "Yes. It was everything I always imagined."

"Even the pantless gay guy?" Scott questioned.

Ramona thought for a moment. "Okay... maybe not." She couldn't help but grin.

"Cheers," Wallace said as he lifted a real glass this time, filled with another margarita **(Wallace Wells Special Ability: Making Margaritas faster than anyone in history!)**.

...

"Wow," Lily said as she leaned forward on the couch.

"Yep... that's how it started," Lisa stated. "The whirlwind wouldn't calm down again for a WHILE."

"So is that when you showed up?" Lily asked.

"Oh no," Lisa responded. "I was busy filming. All I can tell you is that I was shocked to find out about it, and I was even more shocked to find out that Ramona wanted ME as one of her bridesmaids."

"So what happened next?" Lily pressed, leaning forward.

"Hey... if I'm telling the whole story tonight, I'm gonna need some more water. So you just sit tight, and I'll go get a refill," Lisa said as she jingled her empty water glass.

Lily sat back on the couch as Lisa got up and went to the kitchen. She thought about what she'd imagined her parents' engagement starting off with, and it definitely hadn't been her Uncle Wallace with no pants on. And she figured that wasn't the last time their wedding story would blow away her expectations. That's what she always loved about her dad's stories, and this one wasn't going to be any different. She waited patiently for her Aunt Lisa to return.

...

And so the story of the wedding of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers begins. Of course, this was just a prologue, so you can't expect much drama yet. It's really just the set up, right? Still... leaves some interesting questions. But since I'm not SO far removed from the "asking questions" motif of Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World, I'll keep those questions to myself. You stew over yours, and we'll meet back here and compare notes. Sound good? Great. :-D


	2. Chapter 1: Dress Shopping

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A/N: The wedding story continues, or rather begins. This is the longest chapter I've written in my short fanfiction career, so I apologize if it's a bit hefty. Thanks for all the feedback though, and hopefully this turns into as good of a story as I want to give all of you! :-D

Scott and Ramona's Precious Little Wedding

Chapter 1

Lisa Miller **(Status: In full storytelling mode)** returned to the living room with a bottle of water, taking her seat across from Lily Pilgrim **(Status: Wondering what happened next to her parents)**.

"So… where was I?" Lisa asked.

"You were just getting past Uncle Wallace being there for Mom and Dad's engagement… with no pants on," Lily remembered.

"Yeah… he does that a lot, doesn't he?" Lisa smiled.

…

"How hard can it be to choose 3 groomsmen?"

Ramona waited for an answer as Scott put a piece of sushi in his mouth **(Ramona Flowers Note: Maybe having this discussion over food wasn't the best idea…)**. Scott just shrugged as he grabbed another piece.

"I don't know… it's just hard," Scott answered before he popped the California roll in his mouth.

"But you only know 3 guys!" Ramona sighed, exasperated.

"I know more guys than that!" Scott exclaimed **(Ramona Flowers Note: At least I think that's what he said… his mouth was full, so I'm guessing)**.

"Like who?" Ramona challenged.

Scott thought for a moment. "Umm… Wallace… and Stephen Stills… and Neil… and…"

"And?" Ramona pressed.

"Umm… what about that guy with the car?" Scott ventured.

"So you've actually got a guy in mind to be your groomsmen that you don't even know the name of?" Ramona asked.

"Well… no. Kim told me she didn't want to see him again, so I guess not," Scott said, dropping his head.

"So sounds like a pretty easy decision to me," Ramona said, a satisfied smile on her face.

"But it's not! I mean… how did you choose your bridesmaids?" Scott asked, trying to get the pressure off of himself.

"Well… my best friend ever since I met you is Kim, so there's one," Ramona ticked off her bridesmaids on her fingers. "Then there's Lisa, who was obviously very instrumental in getting us together. And then your sister, mainly because I figured you'd have Neil in yours somewhere."

"Wait… why would that matter?" Scott said, confused.

Ramona's smile dropped. "Seriously… it's been months. They're dating. YOU introduced them!"

"I did?"

Ramona put her head in her hands.

…

Scott and Ramona went back to the apartment from the sushi restaurant. Ramona had to admit that, even though she loved Kim like a sister, the living arrangements at Scott's apartment made her a BIT uncomfortable. Ever since she had returned from her parents' house, Kim had lived with Scott in his small apartment. And while it had been okay with Ramona when she lived alongside them **(Note: Though it had been extremely cramped)**, when she had moved back into her old apartment, she couldn't help but feel a bit of trepidation at leaving Scott and Kim alone in the apartment.

Scott opened the door to find Kim pounding away on her drum set, which was positioned across the room near her pallet. She looked up from the drums and Ramona thought she saw her glance at her headphones, which were sitting on the small bedside table nearby. She didn't say anything though, as Ramona and Scott both waved a greeting and headed to the bedroom. After all, they didn't want to disturb her practice session.

"So… are you going to offer ANYTHING to this wedding?" Ramona asked as soon as the door was closed.

"I did have one idea," Scott said, smiling. "You see… when we met, I kept hearing the music from the Legend of Zelda, so I thought maybe we should have cake toppers from the Legend of Zelda."

Ramona's eyes popped open. After all the decisions she'd had to make, with all of the stress she'd been under, and THAT was his great contribution? "WHAT?" she exclaimed.

Scott looked like a deer in headlights.

"So the only help I can expect is what's going to be on top of our CAKE?" Ramona was starting to lose it. The stress of the day, compounded by Scott's lack of involvement, was finally getting to her.

"But…" Scott tried to stammer out.

"You know what Scott Pilgrim… if you're not going to take this whole thing seriously, then maybe we shouldn't even HAVE a wedding!" Ramona yelled as she stormed out of the room. The words felt like a knife coming out of her, but she was too mad to care. As she stomped into the living room, she could see Kim out of the corner of her eye, wearing the headphones.

"Wait Ramona!" Scott pleaded as he followed her into the living room.

Ramona whipped around. She could feel her anger building, and with Kim there too, it wasn't going to be pretty. Scott didn't even seem to notice Kim was there.

"We can have the wedding… I'll take it seriously!" Scott continued to say.

"You know what? I'm going home," Ramona threw her hands up in disgust and walked out the front door, slamming it behind her. Once outside, she paused. She looked up at the sky, wondering if this was really the right thing to do, and secretly hoping that Scott would follow her out and convince her it was, but he didn't. After she got tired of waiting, she bounded down the stairs and started the journey home.

…

"Wait," Lily said.

Lisa paused for a moment, waiting for her niece's question.

"If Aunt Kim is the one who told you this part of the story… how do you know what Mom did?" Lily asked.

"Well of COURSE I had to get Ramona's side too. What kind of self respecting gossip would I be if I didn't know all the sides?" Lisa said with a smile. "Now… I'm gonna stick with telling you about your mom's story, cause Kim and Scott… well… they had a bit of a more… sordid tale than your mom did. I'll leave it to them to tell you what happened when you're ready… if they ever do." **(ApellaZant Note: Or… you could just go on over and read "One Night of Trouble." Go ahead… I'll wait… done? Then let's go!)**

…

The next morning, Ramona skated into work a little late. She wasn't normally that kind of person, but she'd been up most of the night wondering what to do now. As she skated in the warehouse door, her boss **(Name: Jordan J. Root, Occupation: Canadian Amazon Supervisor)** looked up at her. "Wow Ramona… wedding planning keep you up all night?" he said.

"What? No… no wedding planning last night," Ramona stammered.

"You alright to work?" Jordan asked as he started pulling packages out of a large bin. He set one out on the counter in front of Ramona.

"Yeah… I guess," Ramona said unconvincingly.

"Well here's an easy one… No Account Video," Jordan read off the label.

Ramona stopped for a moment. No Account Video… that was an interesting **(Note: And somewhat contrived)** coincidence. She felt that if there was anyone she needed to talk to right now, it was the manager of No Account Video, Kim Pine.

"Doesn't make sense…" Jordan continued. "You'd think No Account would use someone OTHER than Amazon for a supplier…"

"Yeah. I'll take it anyway though… it's right next door to Second Cup, and I think I need a pick-me-up," Ramona said as she took the package and placed it in her new subspace purse. "Hey… are you coming to the wedding? I need an RSVP if you are. Caterers and all…"

Jordan chuckled. "Of course I am, but are you telling me I have to fill out that ridiculous card?"

Ramona smiled. It felt a little weird, but took some of the stress she'd been feeling away from her. "I'm afraid so Jordan… gotta hold you to the same standards as everyone else."

"Well alright… I'll fill out your silly card, and I'll be there," Jordan said as Ramona started to skate toward the door. "You just make sure there's actually a wedding… I don't wanna waste a vacation day!"

Ramona skated out the door and headed off toward No Account Video.

…

By the time she reached No Account Video, Ramona felt much better about her current situation. She and Scott had had their fights beforeand come through, so why would this be any different? And in a lot of ways, Ramona had help. She had help in the form of her fiance's roommate and her best friend, Kim Pine.

So she was happy to see that it WAS, in fact, Kim standing in front of No Account Video as she skated up to it. "Hey Kim!" she yelled as she came to a stop.

Kim whipped around, apparently shocked to see Ramona. Of course, there was also something else in her face as she greeted Ramona. "Hey… Rammy… what are you doing here?" she asked.

"You wouldn't believe this, but I actually have a delivery for you," Ramona answered, beginning to dig in her purse. In just a moment, she took out the parcel and held it out for Kim to see.

Kim inspected the package, but didn't touch it. "That's weird. We don't usually get our stuff from Amazon," she said. "It usually comes from a supplier."

"Oh that's mine!" yelled someone else as they were crossing the street to get to the store. Ramona turned around and saw that it was Kim's former boss/current employee Hollie Hawkes. She reached the two and looked at the package. "Sorry, I had to use this address for it. Sarah's real bad about not telling me when mail comes."

Kim sighed. Apparently she didn't really want to see Hollie this morning **(Kim Pine Note: When in the world would I WANT to see Hollie?)**.

"So how was the party?" Hollie asked Kim. Ramona spotted a look of horror flash across Kim's face as her head jerked up. "I was expecting you to be pretty hung over today, but you look fine."

"So you DID go to Julie's party last night," Ramona smiled. She had known that Julie was in town and that Kim had been tossing around the idea of going to a party for her, but last she had heard, Kim had stayed in the house. That's why she'd been there for the… "disagreement" between her and Scott. Ramona pushed it from her mind as quickly as it came up. "I was worried you were just gonna sit reading that book all night."

"Nope," said Hollie, putting an arm around Kim. "She was partying with the best of us."

Kim glared at Hollie's arm before shrugging it off. Then she turned to Ramona and smiled, but there was something… off about it. Ramona couldn't think about it too much though. She WAS on the clock, after all. "Well… you'll have to tell me about it this afternoon," she said as she looked at her watch. "But right now, I need you to sign for this and then I've gotta go."

Hollie took the pad from Ramona and signed her name. "I'll take care of this," she said as she scribbled. After she handed the pad back to Ramona, Kim muttered something about seeing Ramona after work for dress shopping before Ramona skated away, leaving the two to open up their store.

As she skated away, Ramona couldn't help but wonder what had been wrong with Kim. There was something different about how she'd looked this morning. But then she dismissed it as speculation. After all, a Julie party does strange things to a girl.

…

Scott Pilgrim **(Status: Trying to Figure Out What Happened Last Night… but not too hard)** sat on the couch playing his Nintendo DS. The diminutive game system had been a gift from one of his friends, Neil Nordegraf **(Who is apparently dating his sister, Stacey? Isn't that what Ramona said?)**. He sat in the silence of the apartment, killing beasts on some far away world as the hours ticked by.

…

At 4 o'clock, Ramona skated towards the bridal shop she'd found for her wedding needs. It was a local store, so prices weren't TOO terrible, and it was close to work, which was another plus. She still hadn't felt ENTIRELY comfortable using subspace, so if she could get somewhere without using it, she would.

As she reached the shop, she found Kim walking up to it from the other direction. "Wow… right on time. I usually have to wait for Scott," Ramona quipped.

She thought she saw Kim cringe at Scott's name, but it was over in a flash. "Yeah…" Kim droned as they walked into the store.

The store attendant was immediately ready to help them, which was another thing that Ramona liked about this shop. There was very good customer service. "Welcome ladies… how may I help you today?" she chimed.

"We're here to finalize the dresses for the Pilgrim-Flowers wedding," Ramona stated.

"And who will be trying the dresses on?" the attendant continued.

Kim's eyes popped wide, as though she'd just heard what the conversation was about. She turned to Ramona, who put on her best smile to try and ease the situation. "Wait… no… you didn't say anything about trying ON the dresses," Kim stammered as she began glancing around wildly for an escape.

"C'mon Kim… I have to be able to see the dress on someone, to see how the color looks," Ramona pleaded **(Lisa Miller Note: I suspect she also wanted to see Kim in the dress before the rest of us… because it was Kim)**. "And since Lisa is flying in too late, and Stacey's at work… I need you."

Kim sighed in defeat, holding out an arm to allow herself to be led away by the attendant. Ramona couldn't help but giggle. Suddenly, this wedding stuff was getting fun again…

…

"So how was the party last night?" Ramona asked as she lounged in the chair. She had already decided that she loved the dress, but she couldn't resist keeping Kim in it a little longer, so she had asked the attendant to go ahead and make her alterations. The sight of the attendant pushing and pulling Kim every which way to measure the way the dress fit her was comedic, especially with Kim's dead pan expression through the ordeal.

"Oh… it's the same old thing. A Julie party is a Julie party, right?" Kim answered as the attendant tugged her right arm, almost toppling her over.

"I guess so," Ramona replied. It was a few seconds before Ramona spoke again, breaching the subject that she knew would have to be discussed before anything could go on. "Did Scott say anything after I left?"

"No. He seemed kind of quiet," Kim answered, somewhat nonchalantly. "Did you guys have a fight?"

So it WAS as Ramona had feared. Kim was astute enough to know there was a problem last night, so she might as well just come out and talk about it. After all, who better to talk with than her maid of honor? "Yeah. It all seems kind of silly now. He was just telling me he wanted a Zelda cake topper and I just kind of lost it. It felt like this is all one big joke to him," she said with a frown.

"He's Scott Pilgrim," Kim said. "It's his nature."

_Very true._ Ramona sighed. "I hope he was okay after I left. I didn't mean to storm out like that… I just knew if I stayed, I might have said something else I was going to regret."

"He was alright. I took him with me to Julie's party," Kim blurted out suddenly.

There was a stab of jealousy in Ramona's gut as she looked up at Kim. She trusted Kim and all, but there was something about Scott going to a party with someone else that felt like a cold spike in her stomach. She quickly dismissed it though. This was Kim right? Scott was safer going to a party with Kim than he was if he'd gone with his own sister. "I'm glad you did. That's probably exactly what he needed," she said to break the silence. "I swear Kim… if it was possible for you to be both my maid of honor and his best man, I'm sure we'd have you do it."

Kim smiled. "But then I wouldn't be able to wear this _beautiful_ dress."

"Wow Kim… I had no idea you were so keen on wearing that dress," Ramona teased. The jealousy was gone.

"Shut up," Kim responded.

…

"So… did EVERYTHING happen before you even got there?" Lily asked.

"Well certainly not. It wasn't until I got there that things started picking up," Lisa answered. "I mean… Kim got her own place, but that was kind of boring, and I'd just be repeating more of the same story anyway, so we'll go ahead and skip ahead to me getting there if you want."

"Okay," Lily said as she leaned forward.

"So… where would that be? Oh yeah… a long plane ride," Lisa started.

…

Kim Pine **(Status: Finally an adult with her own place… that's nowhere near Scott Pilgrim's place… okay, it's actually just a few blocks away)** stood in the terminal, shuffling her weight back and forth **(Canadian Airports: Not as Strict as American airports, because c'mon… who would want to attack Canada?)**. She couldn't help it. This was exciting stuff.

Suddenly, she was overtaken with a HUGE crowd of people. The paparazzi was there in droves, flashing off pictures as Lisa Miller **(Age: 25, Occupation: Oscar Nominated Actress!)** stepped through the tunnel. She was wearing an absolutely gorgeous dress, with her blonde hair cut short and flipped outward. To be truthful, she looked absolutely stunning, and everyone in the terminal stopped to watch her. She spun around, presenting the paparazzi with another opportunity to get their perfect shot, and flashbulbs erupted around her yet again.

…

"Aunt Lisa," Lily said with a flat expression. "Really? You'd been in Hollywood for less than 2 years, and that's what they were doing?"

"Well… I might be exaggerating a bit…" Lisa said as she bit her lip.

"A bit?" Lily smiled.

"Okay… a lot," Lisa admitted.

…

Lisa Miller **(Age: 25, Occupation: Waitress… and FUTURE Oscar Nominated Actress!)** stepped through the tunnel to find Kim waiting in the nearly empty terminal. The two hugged each other before beginning the journey back to the car.

"It's SO good to see you, Lisa," Kim said, smiling.

"I know. And can you believe it? We're gonna see Scott Pilgrim get married!" Lisa exclaimed. Kim looked down at the ground. "I mean… I always figured it would happen one day, but it's still crazy to think about."

"Yeah… crazy," Kim muttered.

"So how do the dresses look? I know Ramona's been having you try them on for at least a few weeks, and I'm so sorry I wasn't here to help out more," Lisa was talking 100 miles an hour. "But I'm here now, so if she needs a fashion plate anymore, you go ahead and let me take care of it."

Kim finally cut her off. "Lisa… I did something bad."

Lisa stopped and looked at Kim. "Something bad? Like what? Sleep with Scott?"

Kim bit her lip. Lisa's eyes went wide.

"OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T!" Lisa yelled.

"It's not like it was my choice! There was tequila involved…" Kim said. "…a LOT of tequila."

…

"Wait… WHAT?" Lily stood up in surprise **(Lily Pilgrim Note: TMI! TMI! TM-XXXXXX-I!)**.

"Uh oh…" Lisa said. "Umm… what I meant to say was… Kim had kissed your dad," she tried to repair.

"No… you said SLEEP with Dad!" Lily was pacing the floor wildly.

Lisa got up and put a hand on Lily's shoulder. "Sorry… I meant to let them tell you that if they wanted to, but I guess I got carried away in the story. But hey… you know this story has a happy ending, because you're here. So let's just forget it and continue the story."

Lily sighed as she sat back down on the couch. "Did Mom ever find out?" she asked as she took a drink of water.

Lisa grimaced. "Well… let's get back to the story and we'll find out, won't we?"

…

As they walked up to Kim's car **(Lisa Miller Note: Having passed in complete silence)**, Lisa finally broke the silence. "Well Kim… if it makes you feel any better… I might have… kind of… done the same thing… a couple of years ago." **(Lily Pilgrim Note: You've GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!)**

Kim looked at Lisa, shocked. "What?"

"It was late, and he and Ramona had been fighting… and it was just so complicated," Lisa said with a frown. "In retrospect, I should have stopped it, but… he was so upset…"

"What kind of people are we, Lisa?" Kim asked, putting a hand on her forehead.

Lisa looked down at the ground. "I don't know… all I know is we CANNOT tell Ramona."

"OF COURSE WE CAN'T!" Kim exploded. "I've already betrayed her trust enough for both of us! Damn it Scott!"

"Well… he's getting married," Lisa said, still trying to find the upside. "If we can just keep quiet, maybe that'll make him grow up or something."

"No… it's gonna take kids being born… I'm sure of it," Kim said as she shook her head. The two girls got into her car **(2001 Blue Honda Civic)(Kim Pine Note: More like 2001 Bluish Piece of Crap)** and drove off. After all… the wedding was less than a week away, and even with current revelations, there was a lot to do.

…

Lily put her head in her hands. "BOTH of you?" she asked. "How could he do that?"

"Your father doesn't hold liquor very well at all, and when he fights with your mother, he's an emotional basket case," Lisa answered. "Why do you think your mother doesn't let him drink anymore?"

"I think I've heard enough," Lily started to stand up, but Lisa stopped her.

"I'm sorry Lily… I should have warned you this story was gonna be like this… actually, I probably should have left the whole thing out," she admitted. "But now… you HAVE to let me finish it. I promise… no more crazy revelations about your father. From here on out, it'll be better."

Lily sat back down. "As long as you promise me Aunt Knives didn't do anything with him too."

"I'm pretty sure I heard they hugged once… they might have kissed a few times," Lisa said with a smile.

Lily glared at her aunt, who took a drink of water from her glass.

...

Well… no one said it would be easy to hear this story. Then again, they DID kind of insinuate that it would be happier than this **(Lily Pilgrim Note: And less disturbing..)**. But if we're really thinking about it, the big question becomes… will Ramona find out what happened between two of her bridesmaids and her groom? And how will she react if she does? And who will Scott choose as his groomsmen? **(Literally… he does only know like… 3 guys. Maybe 4.)** When Lisa returns to telling her little tale, maybe we'll find out some answers. Maybe something funny will happen. How should I know? I'm basically just a glorified stenographer at this point…

_**TO BE CONTINUED…**_


	3. Chapter 2: Bachelorette Party

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim story or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A/N: Sorry this one took so long to get out. Not only is it one of the longest chapters I've written (I'm detecting a bit of a trend here), but it's just been a really busy life for the past few weeks, with my boss taking vacation (thus leaving me in charge). Anyway… hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know it's long, but hey… we're getting close to the end here. And then… I don't know what story I'm going to be doing. But there are a few ideas in the wings… but I digress. Enjoy!

**Scott and Ramona's Precious Little Wedding**

**Chapter 2**

"I thought you wanted to hear this story," a distraught Lisa Miller **(Status: Worried about her niece)** said towards a closed door.

A voice answered from behind it. "Not if it's nothing but the details of Dad's pre-wedding affairs!" Lily Pilgrim **(Status: Thoroughly grossed out…)** yelled from the other side.

"I promise… we're getting to better stuff," Lisa sighed. "Or at least more fun stuff."

"Fun stuff? What? Did Julie sleep with Dad too?" Lily demanded.

Lisa couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. In a second, the door opened to reveal an angry Lily Pilgrim.

"What? What's so funny?" she asked.

"I can promise you…" Lisa said between laughing spasms, "THAT didn't happen."

…

"I still don't understand why you're marrying that jerk," Julie Powers **(Age: 26, Status: Just an unusually angry young woman… and that's me being nice)** said.

"Why do you even care?" Ramona asked as she roller bladed along next to Julie. She had just gotten off work and was leaving the Second Cup with, ironically, her second cup of coffee for the day when Julie had appeared, apparently getting off of her shift.

"You're my friend Ramona… I care," Julie said sincerely. "And I know ALL about that womanizing jerk."

"He's past all of that," Ramona said with a smile.

"Uh huh," Julie sounded unconvinced, but she allowed the subject to close **(Ramona Flowers Note: For once)**. "So… big bachelorette party coming up. Who do you have planning it?"

"I thought it was the responsibility of the Maid of Honor," Ramona said with a confused look. "That would be Kim."

"Kim?" Julie said, seemingly hurt. "You're gonna let KIM plan your party?"

"Well… yeah?" Ramona stammered.

Julie let out a huge sigh. "Ramona… you and I both know that I'm more qualified to plan your bachelorette party than Kim Pine. Hell… with her in charge, we'll probably just end up scrap booking all night. How about you just let me take care of this?"

"But…" Ramona started.

"C'mon Ramona… I'm not doing anything else for this wedding. The LEAST I can do is plan you a party. I've got SO many good ideas for it," Julie pleaded **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I wasn't aware Julie COULD plead…)**.

Ramona thought for a moment. If the party was planned by Julie, it WOULD probably allow Kim to relax for the night, instead of busily trying to keep everything together. And a relaxed Kim would be a much happier Kim the next day.

"Oh what the hell," Ramona sighed. "Yes… you can plan my bachelorette party, but on ONE condition… NO strippers."

Julie scoffed. "Please… what do you think I am? An amateur?" She quickly walked away, presumably to begin the planning of one of the most epic bachelorette parties in Canadian history **(Ramona Flowers Note: God what have I done?)**.

…

"Umm… please tell me there were no strippers," Lily said.

Lisa smiled. "We say a lot of things about your Julie, I know, but there's one thing she never has been… she's never been a liar. No… there were no strippers at your mother's bachelorette party. It was awkward… but there was no nudity **(ApellaZant Note: Good thing too… otherwise, this would be an M rated story)**."

…

A short time later, Ramona was sitting in her dining room, just looking at the ground. In just 2 days, she'd be getting married. It was something that she'd never even imagined for herself. Hell… just a few years ago, she'd run away from Scott, not wanting to get tied down. But she felt differently now. Scott had faced her past and had barely flinched. She didn't have to run from it anymore, because with Scott by her side, it didn't matter anymore.

Her cell phone rang, breaking her out of her thoughts. She quickly took it out of her subspace purse and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Hey Rammy!" Scott's voice rang from the other side.

"Scott?" Ramona asked. "How are you calling me?" she continued as she looked at her phone in disbelief. Scott's usual method of communication was HER phone.

"I borrowed a phone from my best man… who I just picked out right now!" Scott sounded extremely proud of himself.

Ramona smiled. "That's good. Who did you pick out?"

"Wallace, of course," Scott said.

"Good. I'm sure he's thrilled," Ramona answered. "So… I wanted to talk to you about this thing…"

Silence from the other end.

"Scott?" Ramona ventured.

"Oh… sorry. I'm playing Sonic the Hedgehog. What's up?"

"Scott… what do you want to do about vows?" Ramona asked. Again, the words coming out of her mouth felt almost foreign.

"Vows?" Scott asked.

"Yeah… you know… the promises we're going to make each other at the wedding?" Ramona replied. "What do you want to do for them?"

More silence.

"Scott… pause the game," Ramona monotoned.

She heard the music in the background stop before Scott spoke again.

"What do you mean?" Scott said.

"I mean… do we want to do our own? Do we want to use the ones that are already written? What do we want to do?" Ramona said.

More silence.

"Scott?" Ramona prodded.

"I guess… let's do our own?" Scott answered.

"Okay," Ramona said. "And one more thing that I need you to pass on to Wallace."

"What's that?"

"No strippers," she commanded.

…

Kim Pine and Lisa Miller sat in the middle of Kim's empty living room. She'd ordered her furniture from her parent's house to be delivered, but even when that came, it wouldn't fill the living room. Unfortunately though, the wedding had put all of her furniture shopping plans on hold.

"I still can't believe that Scott Pilgrim is getting married," Lisa said as she shifted her weight on the pillow Kim had given her to sit on.

"I can. You haven't been around hearing them for the last year and a half," Kim lamented.

Lisa looked around the living room and smiled. "Hey… you remember that club that Scott got us to join when we were at St. Joel's?"

"The Nothing Club?" Kim asked.

"Yeah… kind of reminds me of this house," Lisa teased.

Kim smacked Lisa in the shoulder. "That's not funny."

"Yeah it is," Lisa said with a smile.

"Look who's talking, Ms. Big Time Hollywood Waitress!" Kim retorted.

"Now that was below the belt," Lisa smirked.

Lisa pulled the pillow out from under herself and bopped Kim in the head with it. Before Kim could retaliate, there was a knock at the door. Kim looked towards the front of the house, confused, before getting up and walking to the door. When she opened it, she found Julie Powers on the other side **(Julie Powers: In Full Party Planning Mode)**.

"Wow… nice place, Kim," Julie said sarcastically as she gave the living room a look-over, walking in past Kim.

"Thanks," Kim muttered. "What are you doing here Julie?"

"I'm here to talk about the bachelorette party plans with you," Julie said, matter-of-factly.

"I thought that was up to the maid of honor," Lisa said.

"Not in THIS wedding. Ramona said I could do it," Julie smiled **(Kim Pine Note: Wow… kind of creepy when she smiles)**.

"Alright. What do you need from us?" Kim asked, knowing this fight wasn't worth having. Besides, it would let her relax to not have to worry about everything AND the bachelorette party.

"How many girls will be here?" Julie asked.

"Let's see… me and Lisa of course," Kim ticked off in her head. "Then there's Stacey. Knives is coming in from university tomorrow, so she should be here. And I guess you."

Julie thought for a moment. "That's five. Not QUITE enough for what I had in mind, but I'll make it work," she said.

"What exactly do you have in mind?" asked Lisa, more than a little worried.

"Don't worry about that. Just be at this address tomorrow night at 6. I'll have everything else taken care of!" Julie said as she handed a slip of paper to Kim. Then she quickly whirled around and left, not even bothering to close the door.

Kim pushed the door closed and turned to Lisa. "Wow… what on earth did Ramona do?"

…

"I cry foul!" Wallace yelled. "What other bride in the history of weddings has EVER gotten to dictate what her fiancé's bachelor party consisted of?"

Scott Pilgrim **(Less than 48 hours from being married… scary)** sat on his best man Wallace's tan couch. Wallace was busily pacing around the room, trying to make sense of **(Apparently)** having his big bachelor party plans dashed by the bride to be. Then, Neil Nordegraf **(Groomsman #1, Largely due to relationship with groom's sister)** and Stephen Stills **(Groomsman #2… because he's awesome)** walked into the room.

"Hey guys… what's up?" Neil said as he sat down next to Scott.

"A hostile takeover of our bachelor party, that's what!" Wallace said as he continued to pace.

"Wow… what happened?" Stephen Stills said as he sat down on the other side of Scott, keeping his voice low to avoid upsetting Wallace any more.

"Rammy said we couldn't have strippers at my bachelor party tomorrow night," Scott whispered back.

"So?" Stephen Stills responded. "Makes perfect sense to me. Why would we want strippers anyway?"

Scott shrugged his shoulders as Wallace turned towards them. "It's not so much that we want strippers. It's that the bride isn't supposed to dictate what happens at the bachelor party. I had an evening of good, wholesome entertainment planned, but now all I can think about is strippers **(Lisa Miller Note: Which is odd for several good reasons…)**." Then, Wallace thought for a moment. "Did she specify that both genders of stippers were forbidden?"

Scott made a disgusted face. "Why would you even think that?" he demanded.

Wallace shrugged.

"So what DID you have planned?" Neil asked.

Wallace paused. "I didn't… actually have a plan. I figured we'd just drink and see where the night took us."

"Somehow, I don't think that's what Ramona had in mind either," Stephen Stills replied.

"How about we just do what we always used to do?" Neil ventured.

"What? Play Bomberman?" Scott said.

"Yeah," Neil's eyes sparkled a little bit.

The four men looked at each other.

"Sounds good to me," Wallace said with a shrug. "As long as there's still alcohol."

Stephen Stills grinned. "Do you know any other way to play Bomberman?"

…

The rehearsal dinner was held at Herrera's Fine Dining **(We Also Cater!)**. During the day, Knives Chau **(sophomore at University, Communications Major, No longer a Scott-a-holic)** had arrived **(Lisa Miller Note: Sorry... I wasn't there for that, and never got the chance to ask...)**. While she helped Julie set up for the bachelorette party **(Lisa Miller Note: Which we still knew absolutely NOTHING about… should have been the first warning…)**, everyone else enjoyed their meal. Scott's parents finally met Ramona's dad, and everyone had a wonderful time sharing stories of their children's exploits.

Ramona and Scott sat at the table together. As they laughed and ate, the wedding photographer knelt down on one knee in front of them and snapped off a picture. He stood up and prepared for another one, but Scott stopped him.

"Hey man… thanks for being our photographer… Mr…" he trailed off, not remembering the man's name.

The photographer lowered his camera, revealing handsome features. He had glasses on, with brown hair down just past his chin. As Scott and Ramona both looked at him expectantly, he smiled. "Williams. My name is Sean Williams."

…

"WHAT?" Lily almost jumped out of her seat.

"Oh… I didn't even realize until just now… that was Sean. Huh," Lisa said as she looked around.

"Sean was at their wedding and they didn't remember him?" Lily demanded.

"Well honey… when you're at a wedding, it's all kind of a blur," Lisa soothed.

…

"Well thank you for being our photographer, Sean," Ramona said. "I was really worried we weren't going to get someone in time, but you really came through."

"Don't mention it," Sean said with a smile.

The dinner was almost over when Knives returned. She quickly moved through the room and found Kim and Lisa talking to Mr. Flowers.

"Hey guys," she smiled as she walked up to the group. "Umm… it's time to go finish getting set up."

Ramona's father stopped her short. "Hello Knives… it's been a while since we've seen you. I still don't understand why Ramona didn't choose you to be one of her bridesmaids."

"I'd probably say it had something to do with the fact I dated her fiancé," Knives replied. "Not that she doesn't trust me or anything, but I'd be weirded out too if one of the girls standing up there with me had kissed my future husband."

Kim shut her eyes tightly. That hurt a little bit. "I thought you guys were doing the set up," she said after a moment, a look of confusion on her face.

"Yeah… about that…" Knives bit her lip as she glanced between them. "Julie wants us all in costume before Ramona shows up."

"I KNEW IT! She's planned a costume party… what is it this time? Animals who are really William Shatner in a costume? **(Lisa Miller Note: William Shatner is a famous actor from Montreal... I think)(Lily Pilgrim Note: If you say so…)**" Kim threw up her hands.

"I'm afraid it's a little worse than that. You'll have to see it to believe it," Knives said as she started back out into the street. Kim and Lisa looked at each other.

"How much worse could it be?" Lisa asked innocently.

…

"This is just downright distasteful," Kim said in disgust.

The room everyone was standing in was a perfectly fine room. It looked like a warehouse that Julie and Knives had decorated with all sorts of bachelorette decorum, from streamers that said 'Bride to Be' to balloons littering the floor and hanging from the rafters. Above those rafters, there was a glass skylight that allowed everyone to see the stars circling overhead.

But it wasn't the décor Kim had a problem with. It was her outfit. She stood in the middle of the room with a black t-shirt and blue jeans, a skateboard in her hand and a brown wig covering her hair **(Kim Pine Note: Only Julie could come up with something this twisted…)**.

"Look, it's the best idea I had," Julie said, walking up to Kim. She was dressed in a black jumpsuit with a white sun across the chest and back. She even had a short black wig on. "Why not remind Ramona of all the trials she had to go through with that jerk?"

"Because it's sick and twisted?" Scott's sister Stacey said as she walked out of the bathroom. She was dressed in a red and black striped shirt with a dusty tan jacket. Her hair was slicked down in front of her face and it looked as though she'd put on more eyeliner than would EVER be necessary.

"My thoughts exactly," Kim said through her teeth.

"She put me in charge, so it's my way or the highway!" Julie said.

"I'm tempted to go on the highway, Julie," Knives said. She wore a platinum blonde wig that was styled straight up. The rest of her outfit was simple. Just a white t-shirt and pants.

"There's no way Ramona's going to enjoy this!" Kim yelled.

"How would you know?" Julie said.

"BECAUSE I'M NOT BRAIN DEAD!" was Kim's response.

"Guys! We're out of time! I can see her coming!" Lisa yelled from a catwalk near the window. She was decked out in much the same way as everyone else, a black shirt over a black skirt, with a matching hoodie. Her blonde hair was pulled into two pigtails on either side of her head, and black eye makeup was smudged underneath her eyes.

"See? No time to change now!" Julie said defiantly.

Kim growled something else under her breath, but went to her position in the shadows. In a few short moment, the front door opened and Ramona Flowers **(Status: Creeped Out… and Wondering why she put Julie in charge of this)** walked in.

"Hello?" Ramona called as she slowly made her way into the building. She reached a spot in the middle of the room where the light from the skylight and a few of the overhead lights caused a circle of brightness.

"The future Mrs. Pilgrim!" Julie's voice boomed from the shadows.

Ramona whirled around, getting very nervous now. "Mrs. Flowers-Pilgrim," she muttered under her breath as she strained her eyes to see into the darkness.

"Oh… right," Julie's voice came again from the shadows, but wasn't nearly as intimidating this time. She cleared her throat and the scary voice came back. "The future Mrs. Flowers-Pilgrim! We are here to remind you of why you're getting married to the biggest jerk living!"

Ramona turned as Stacey Pilgrim walked out of the shadows **(Name: Stacey Pilgrim, Status: Dressed as Matthew Patel and horribly embarrassed by this whole thing!)**. Ramona's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. But she wasn't given too much time to think about it. In just a moment, Kim Pine **(Status: Dressed as Lucas Lee… wouldn't mind smacking Julie with this skateboard right now…)** walked out and joined Stacey. Seconds later, Knives Chau **(Status: Dressed as Todd Ingram… no… she is not vegan)** walked out as well.

"Wha… wha…" Ramona stammered.

The parade wasn't over. Lisa Miller **(Status: Dressed as Roxanne Richter… looking pretty good in it too, if I do say so myself)** strolled out into the light. Finally, Julie Powers **(Status: Dressed as Ken Katayanagi… or it is Kyle? I never could keep those straight)** sauntered into the middle of the room.

The girls stood there for a while as Ramona just stared at them. After a moment, Ramona shook her head and put her hands on her hips.

"Wow Julie… this is just… distasteful," she half smiled.

"I TOLD YOU!" yelled Kim.

…

Scott and Stephen Stills were the last two standing. Scott's character picked up a bomb and hurled it at Stephen Stills', but he dodged at the last possible second. The blast shook the screen, but did no damage. Then, it was Scott's turn to dodge, as Stephen Stills' character chucked a bomb of his own. He wasn't quite so lucky though, zigging when he should have zagged and taking the brunt of the blast to the face. The screen shook again as Scott's character fell.

"Man!" Scott yelled **(Scott Pilgrim: On an uncharacteristic losing streak)**.

"Another one bites the dust," Wallace said sarcastically as he took another drink of his margarita.

Scott, Stephen Stills, Wallace and Neil were sitting in the basement of Stephen's house. They were joined in the dingy looking room by Stephen's boyfriend, Joseph, who had been sitting next to Stephen silently since arriving.

"Go again?" Neil asked as he picked up his controller.

"Bet the girls are having a lot more fun…" said Joseph.

Stephen Stills chuckled. "With Julie planning their party? Yeah…"

Wallace suddenly set down his drink. "You know what we should do?" he asked no one in particular.

"We should crash their party!" answered Joseph.

"But we don't know where they are," Scott complained.

"Yes we do. Stacey told me right before she got there," Wallace said, flipping out his phone.

"Wait… she told you but she didn't tell me?" Neil asked, seeming somewhat hurt.

"Get used to it kid," Wallace said with a smile as he stood up. "Got it… let's go!"

...

"I still can't believe we're doing this," Lisa said as she took another sip of her drink. Julie had built a small bar **(Lisa Miller Note: Possibly manifesting another of her jobs?)** and was serving drinks to the girls as they milled around the room. After the initial outrage of the subject, Ramona had seemed to relax.

"I guess it works. Definitely unique," Kim muttered. Then she smiled and looked at Lisa. "By the way, I've been wondering. How does it feel to dress like a lesbian for the night?"

Lisa poked Kim in the side. "At least I can't be accused of cross dressing."

Kim looked over Lisa's outfit. "I don't know... does that outfit really HAVE a gender?"

"Hard to tell. I assume so," Lisa answered.

Meanwhile, Knives and Ramona were standing near the bar, waiting for a drink from Julie **(Julie Powers Note: Even at a party, I'm STILL working? XXXX!)**.

"So are you really ready for this?" Knives asked Ramona as she leaned against the bar.

"I think so. I mean... it's hard to tell right now," Ramona answered. "Hell... it's harder than I would have ever thought, considering I'm telling the strange female version of one of my ex-boyfriends."

"Must be surreal," Knives lamented.

"To say the least, but hey... it IS a creative party theme," Ramona agreed.

"Of course it is!" Julie yelled from behind the bar. "I came up with it!"

...

Scott and Neil were the first ones to reach the roof of the building. Scott couldn't imagine why the girls were having a bachelorette party in what looked like an abandoned warehouse, but Stephen Stills had simply laughed and said "Julie." As if that was supposed to explain anything.

"Kind of convenient, there being a skylight like this," Neil grunted as he pulled himself up to where he could peer inside **(Lisa Miller Note: Despite his past characterization, Neil is NO slouch. At least he wasn't once he started dating Stacey. Transformative power of love?)**.

"Yeah. Almost like we're supposed to be able to see into this party," Scott agreed as he joined Neil on the edge of the skylight. He wiped some condensation off of the window and peeked in. He could see Ramona standing by the bar, but everyone else was concealed by shadows.

"Well… looks like Joseph was wrong. It doesn't seem like they're having more fun to me," Neil muttered.

"Yeah. This looks just like a Julie party… nothing to do but drink… WAIT!"

Scott had glimpsed something. A blonde pigtail was illuminated by the light. He looked harder. One of the other shadows was holding something that looked remarkably like a skateboard. Finally, a blonde wearing a white shirt and pants walked into the light next to Ramona.

"What the hell? It's the EXES!" Scott exclaimed.

Neil looked again. Yeah… it looked like the exes, but there was something wrong. Something was off about each of them. For one thing, none of them were as big as he remembered, but maybe it was the distance. Plus… there were only 5 of them… in fact, there had been 5 girls invited to Ramona's party.

"Umm… Scott? I don't think…" he started.

"They've come back to try and convince Ramona not to marry me!" Scott was now standing on the roof. He had a crazed look in his eyes.

"Scott… those can't be the…"

"Go get the others Neil… I might need help," Scott demanded as he seemed to be readying himself for something.

"Scott, I'm telling you! Those aren't the…" Neil tried to blurt out but Scott cut him off.

"HEEEEYYYAAAAAHHHH!" Scott jumped up and landed with a thump on the skylight. The glass cracked, but much to Scott's surprise, it didn't break. He had a moment to look at Neil with a confused look before the glass gave way and he fell through all the way to the floor!

Scott found himself looking up at the broken skylight, dust flying all around from him landing on the floor. Ramona leaned over him.

"The fact that you just crashed my party notwithstanding," she said, "are you okay?"

She helped Scott to his feet, and that's when he quickly remembered what he had been doing. He looked around to see the exes closing in, strangely with looks of concern. "Rammy… what's happening? How did they come back?"

Ramona blinked. "How did who come back?"

"The exes… they're back! Don't you see them?"

"Scott… these aren't the exes…" Ramona said slowly, trying to calm her fiancé down.

Scott looked again. There WAS something different about them. The feminine facial features. The shorter stature (except for Roxie… that was pretty close). The lone Katayanagi was wearing glasses. Then realization dawned on his face.

"They're… they're girls," Scott stammered.

"Very observant," the skateboard holding shadow said with biting sarcasm.

"They… they came back as GIRLS!" Scott yelled as he pointed a finger at all of them before looking to the sky. "Oh cruel fate!"

Ramona sighed and put her head in her hands, but Scott quickly pushed her behind himself, shielding her. He pointed at 'Todd.'

"Well… if I have to… I will. Time to go back to the void Ingram!" he screamed.

"Wait… what?" 'Todd' stepped backwards.

Scott wound up and unleashed a lightning fast punch…

…

Lisa looked with sadness at her empty bottle. "Well… looks like I need another water. Telling stories apparently makes me thirsty…"

Lily was sitting on the edge of her seat. Her jaw dropped as Lisa stood up. "Wait… you're gonna leave me with THAT? What happened?" she pleaded.

"Relax… I'm just going to get another water. You want one?" Lisa asked with a grin.

"I guess so," Lily said with a frown as she leaned back into her seat.

…

Well… Scott Pilgrim crashed his wife's bachelorette party. Who here is surprised? I know I wasn't. But what will happen next? Is Scott going to beat up all the exes all over again? **(Kim Pine Note: He better not… I did NOT dress like this just for that clown to beat me up)**(**Julie Powers Note: Scott Pilgrim, you're RUINING MY PARTY!)** And what other shenanigans can happen with the wedding less than 24 hours away? And at what point is Lisa going to have to go to the bathroom? The answers to these questions and more next time!


	4. Chapter 3: Wedding?

Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim series or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.

A/N: Okay… so here's the next chapter of the wedding story. Obviously, romance and drama are taking precedence, so I apologize if this one isn't QUITE as funny as the others. I promise, we're setting up good stuff. Secondly... my wife had a lot to do with Ramona's wedding vows, so a big thanks to her. And finally, in related news, I've managed to somehow convince Voice4TheMute himself to add a little guest writing to this story before it sees its conclusion. As to the nature of that writing, I'll leave that in the surprise bin, but just trust me… it's pretty cool. :-D So… without further ado… enjoy!

Scott and Ramona's Precious Little Wedding

Chapter 3

Lisa Miller **(Status: Ready to continue the story now that she has another bottled water)** walked back into the living room where Lily Pilgrim **(Status: Can't wait to find out what happened next)** still sat on the edge of her couch seat. Lisa handed her one of the water bottles she was carrying and then took her seat.

"Okay… now… where was I?" Lisa said.

"My dad was apparently about to beat down Aunt Knives?" Lily ventured.

"Oh yeah… guess I DID leave on a bit of a cliffhanger, didn't I?" Lisa said with a smile.

"Just a bit," Lily said with an annoyed look.

…

"Wait Sco…" 'Todd' **(aka Knives Chau) **managed to get out before she had to dodge out of the way of Scott's haymaker. Unfortunately, he continued the attack, and so she had to continue dodging.

"It's US you dolt!" 'Lucas' **(aka Kim Pine) **yelled, throwing her hands up in exasperation **(Kim Pine Note: This is officially the worst party ever)**.

Scott wasn't paying attention to anything. He was in full attack mode, once again fighting for the love of his life, Ramona Flowers. He spun around and tried to deliver a back kick to 'Todd,' but she was more agile than the real ex ever could have been, ducking underneath and spinning around to Scott's back.

"Scott… it's me!" she yelled, trying to pull the wig off of her head **(Knives Chau Note: What the hell is holding this on? Super glue?)**.

"Scott… stop it!" Ramona yelled from across the room.

He was in the zone though. Scott quickly turned and tried to deliver a roundhouse kick, but 'Todd' bent over backwards, effectively dodging the kick. It left her open though, and Scott grabbed her by the shirt and threw her. She rolled to the ground and bounced up.

"Guys… stop this right now!" 'Roxie' **(aka Lisa Miller)** said as she stepped in between Scott and 'Todd.'

Scott didn't miss a beat. He started swinging wildly at 'Roxie,' who blocked the first few punches he tried to deliver. Then, using his momentum against him, she quickly ducked underneath and arm and delivered a judo throw, taking Scott down and, at least for a moment, ending the threat.

…

"Aunt Lisa… you're doing it again," Lily said.

"Doing what?" Lisa asked innocently.

Lily arched an eyebrow at her aunt. "Judo? You know judo?"

Lisa avoided Lisa's glance. "Okay… okay…"

…

Scott didn't miss a beat. He started swinging wildly at 'Roxie,' who immediately screamed and began backing away, barely staying out of the way of his punches. Finally, 'Roxie' stopped short and put her hands out, trying to ward Scott away, but he simply grabbed her arm and whipped her around, sending her stumbling into the lone 'Katayanagi,' **(aka Julie Powers)** causing both to tumble to the floor.

'Roxie' looked down at the woman who had broken her fall. "Thank so much!"

"Get the **XXXX** off of me!" the 'Katayanagi' yelled as she shoved 'Roxie' off of her. **(Lisa Miller Note: Really… I'm starting to get tired of these quotes… I might just have to start calling them by their real names)**

Meanwhile, back in the fight, Scott was once again trying to fight with Knives, who was staying just one step ahead of him. Suddenly, 'Matthew' **(aka Stacey Pilgrim) **jumped on Scott's back, holding on for dear life.

"Wait little brother! It's us!" she yelled.

"You're no brother of mine, Patel!" Scott yelled as he swung around. Stacey lost her grip and tumbled to the floor. Scott prepared to finish her off with a punch when out of nowhere, Neil Nordegraf jumped to the rescue and tackled him to the ground! Scott struggled as Neil tried to calm him down.

"Dude! It's not the exes… it's the girls!"

"I know they're girls, but they're here to break me and Ramona up!" Scott yelled.

"No… I mean they're THE girls!" Neil answered.

Scott stopped for a moment, confused. Then he saw. Knives finally managed to get her blonde wig off, revealing her trademark black bob. Lisa had pulled down her pigtails, revealing herself.

"But… but…" Scott stammered.

Convinced he was calmed down, Neil got up and helped Scott to his feet. Ramona walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. Despite the horrifying danger everyone had just been in, she couldn't help but giggle.

"Honey… I'm glad you're STILL willing to fight for me and all, but you defeated the exes. We're never gonna have to deal with that again," she said.

"But… isn't this distasteful?" Scott said as he looked around.

"Smartest thing you've said all night," Kim replied. Then, she took her skateboard and smacked it across Scott's back. He yelped. "THAT'S for being an idiot though," she snarled as she started to walk out.

"Don't forget we need to be there early tomorrow!" Ramona yelled after her.

"Yeah yeah yeah…" Kim answered as Lisa followed after her **(Lisa Miller Note: Couldn't exactly let my ride leave without me…)**.

Ramona turned to Scott. "You know… it's almost midnight."

"Yeah?" Scott seemed puzzled.

"So… it's bad luck to see the bride on your wedding day," Ramona teased.

"I guess I should be going then?" Scott said.

"Yeah," Ramona answered. "And tomorrow… don't be late."

…

The next day was a whirlwind of activity, as all weddings are. The girls spent most of the day making sure they'd look their best. The guys… well… they got to sleep late **(Kim Pine Note: Lucky XXXXXXXX…)**.

Kim and Lisa sat in the bridal suite, waiting for Ramona and Stacey. It was very pleasantly decorated. Two couches faced each other on opposite sides of the room, with plenty of room for everyone to move around. Kim glanced at the wedding dress, which Ramona would be wearing in a few short hours, draped over a chair at the edge of the room.

"You okay, Kim?" Lisa asked.

Kim scoffed. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You know why," Lisa answered.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about that," Kim threatened.

Lisa frowned. "The more I think about it, the more I think we shouldn't just keep this secret forever. We HAVE to tell her. Otherwise, we're being even more dishonest than we would have been before."

Kim shook her head. "I'm not going to be the one to ruin this day. I owe that to Ramona."

Just then, Ramona walked into the room, struggling with what looked like a giant shopping bag. "You don't owe me anything Kim… and you're not going to ruin today. Nothing will," she grunted as she pulled the bag into the room.

Kim's mouth was open, but no sound was coming out, and she was turning a deep shade of red. Lisa immediately changed the subject, certain that Ramona had only heard the last part.

"Hey Ramona. You ready for today?" she asked.

"I'm ready for it to be over," Ramona sighed. "Who knew this stuff was so stressful?"

"From what I can tell, only the people who've done it already," Kim found her voice. "It's just that no bride-to-be wants to listen. No offense or anything."

"So what's in the bag?" Lisa asked, trying to switch topics... and maybe eying the bag a little. **(Lisa Miller Note: Hey… I know a shopping bag when I see it)**

"This?" Ramona gestured to the bag with a smile. "It's my gift to you guys, but we can't look at them until Stacey gets here."

…

Scott Pilgrim **(Status: Mere hours from being married… getting freakier)** slowly woke up. He could barely make out the sound of a phone ringing. He groggily searched for the source of the ringing, but couldn't find it without getting out of bed. He waddled out to the living room, where the phone was sitting on the small table that used to be Kim's nightstand.

"Hello?" he mumbled as he flipped the phone open.

"Scott Pilgrim… I'm on my way to the church, and you had better be too, unless you want to be late for your own wedding day!" Stacey Pilgrim **(Still the more together Pilgrim child… because we don't talk about Lawrence)** said.

"Church… wedding…" Scott continued to mumble.

There was the sound of the phone being passed to someone else. "SCOTT **XXXXXX **PILGRIM! I did NOT spend hours on my hair just to sit there for an hour. You get your **XXX** to the church RIGHT NOW!" Julie Powers **(Status: Even angry on the day of a wedding… she'll probably be angry on her OWN wedding day)** yelled.

Scott's eyes shot open **(Lisa Miller Note: Julie's voice will do that to you)(Julie Powers Note: Just be glad I said something. I'm the lone reason those two ended up together!)**. He quickly threw on some clothes and started the long run to the church.

…

Stacey walked into the bridal suite, apparently having rushed down the hallway. "Am I late?" She looked around in confusion at Kim and Lisa, who still weren't in their dresses. "What are you guys doing?"

Kim smirked. "Let me guess… Scott told you when the wedding was."

"Yeah?" Stacey answered.

"We told him it was at 2, because we figured he'd be late. It's not until 4," Lisa said.

Stacey was about to grumble, but then Ramona stepped in through the other door. "Good… now we're all here, so I have something for all of you," she smiled as she walked over to the bag. She pulled out three bags, each with a star, but they were all different colors. The red one she handed to Kim, blue to Lisa, and green to Stacey.

"A purse with a star on it?" Lisa asked. "Well… I guess it'll be fun to coordinate outfits to match this."

"It's a subspace bag," Ramona explained. "You can put anything in there, and as the tag says, its capacity is unknown. I pretty much crammed everything I owned into my last one and still had space."

"Cool," Stacey said. "How does it work?"

"Basically, everything you put into it ends up in subspace, and you can take it out whenever you need it," Ramona said.

Blank stares from everyone in the room.

"You never know when you'll need something like that," Ramona continued. "It's just my way of thanking you guys. I never thought this day would even happen, let alone with someone as great as Scott, and I know all of you not only had something to do with getting me and him together and keeping us that way, but also in making him into the man he is today. I wanted to thank you all for that."

"Thanks Rammy," Kim said with a barely perceptible wince. Everyone else in the room nodded their agreement.

…

Wallace Wells **(Status: Looking good in a tuxedo… not as good as he does without pants, but this is the best you can look with pants on)** paced around in the foyer of the church with Neil Nordegraf and Stephen Stills **(Wallace Wells Note: Also wearing tuxedos, but they don't look as good…)(Lisa Miller Note: I thought they looked great)**.

Suddenly, Scott Pilgrim burst into the room. He looked like he'd been running for hours. Wallace immediately grabbed him and started dragging him to the changing rooms.

"Glad to see you're finally here, Scott… now… you've got 10 minutes to get dressed," he said as he pulled Scott down the hallway.

"Wait… I have to do something," Scott said as he stopped.

"More important than getting married?" Wallace asked.

"I think so," Scott said. As Neil and Stephen Stills caught up with them, he cleared his throat. "I just wanted to say… thank you. You guys helped me at every turn to get to this point, and I hope you'll accept these tokens as my personal thanks to each of you." Scott then took a few small objects out of his pockets and handed one to each of his groomsmen. To Stephen Stills, he handed a guitar pick. To Neil, he gave a couch with the face of a dog. And to Wallace, a crinkled piece of paper with a phone number on it **(Lisa Miller Note: Wait a minute…)**.

Stephen Stills looked at the guitar pick. "You just gave us the random crap you had in your pocket, didn't you?"

Scott smiled sheepishly. "Yeah…"

"Nice. Very nice," Wallace said with a hint of sarcasm. "Now get dressed!"

…

Scott ran down the aisle, passing rows of confused guests. The groomsmen and bridesmaids were already in place at the front of the church, white flowers all around them. Kim rolled her eyes as Scott jumped up on the stage and began straightening his tuxedo.

"I should have known, if anyone could be late when they were told to be here 2 hours early, it would be Scott Pilgrim," she muttered to Lisa, who was standing beside her.

Just a few seconds later, the bridal march started and the guests stood. Scott tried to see around the people to the back of the church, but found that even with his elevated position, he couldn't see through them. He saw the photographer… umm… he still couldn't remember his name, but he saw the photographer rush forward to take pictures. He could see Knives Chau sitting a few rows back, next to a handsome young man. Scott idly wondered who he was. Then, he looked at the people standing up at the front with him. His best man, Wallace Wells, flanked by his groomsmen Neil and Stephen. Across the stage, Kim Pine stood, looking slightly uncomfortable. To her right were Lisa Miller and Stacey, his sister.

Then, Wallace cleared his throat, trying to refocus Scott's attention elsewhere. Scott turned back to the crowd and froze as he saw Ramona.

She was absolutely beautiful **(Kim Pine Note: Not something she ever had much difficulty with, I'd say)**, wearing a flowing white dress with a veil perched atop her pink hair **(Ramona Flowers Note: In honor of the color it was when Scott and I met)**. Her bouquet of flowers matched the shade of her hair. As she reached the stage and started to walk up the small steps, her father held her arm and helped her up. After situating herself, she handed her bouquet to Kim. Scott was still mesmorized when she smiled at him.

"Stare much?" she teased.

Scott couldn't answer, but luckily he didn't have to immediately, as the preacher, an older man dressed in black, began.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers in holy matrimony. If any man or woman should show just cause that they should not be joined, let them speak now or forever hold their peace," the preacher said.

Scott closed his eyes. In his mind, he could see 7 people having a distinct problem with this, but luckily, they weren't there. Instead, there was only silence before the preacher continued.

"Who gives this woman to be married?" the preacher inquired.

Ramona's father stepped up behind her. "I do," he said.

The preacher nodded his head as Ramona's father took her hand and placed it in Scott's hands. He then gave a small wink to Scott before walking back to his seat.

The preacher then addressed the small crowd. "Now… Scott and Ramona have requested to use their own written vows," he stated. Then he motioned for Ramona to begin.

…

Abruptly, Lisa got up from her seat and walked over to the dining room table. Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Again? Seriously, I think you could give a camel a run for its money with the water intake," Lily said.

"No… need tissue. You might too. The next few parts are kind of emotional," Lisa replied as she picked up a box of tissues and walked back to her seat. She handed a few to Lily.

…

"Scott," Ramona began, "when you came up to me at that party, I thought you were a dork. And when you ordered a box of CD's from my work with the sole intention of asking me out… I thought you were a stalker. But I'm glad I didn't keep thinking that. I mean… I did, a little. You're still a dork," she added with a smile. "But you're also caring, and compassionate, and all sorts of other things that I'd have never thought I wanted, and yet… I do. You fought for me and no one had ever done that before. You accepted me with all of my baggage, even when all I wanted to do was run away from you. And because of that… I don't want to run anymore. I want to be with you forever. That's why I'm here today… to be with you forever."

A few of the girls in the church sighed. The preacher then turned to Scott, who was still finding talking to be a difficult thing to do.

"Ramona… I…" he stammered. "I love you. I think I always have, ever since you skated through my dreams for the first time. And if I hadn't loved you, I don't think I could have done everything I did, and fought the exes. It was that love for you that got me through. And when you left… I learned that I don't want to live without you. It sucks. So… I know I've done all sorts of dumb stuff…" he said. _Like sleeping with Kim a few weeks ago and sleeping with Lisa back when we were fighting the exes_.

Ramona's face dropped. Kim and Lisa both looked at Scott with shocked faces, Kim more angry of the two. Scott seemed oblivious though, even to the silence that had come over the crowd.

"But you… you make me feel like I don't want to DO the dumb stuff anymore. I actually… want… to grow up for you," Scott continued. "I love you."

Then… silence. Ramona let her hands drop out of Scott's. "Good to know," she mumbled, looking at the floor.

Scott finally noticed something was up. He looked around the room at the horrified looks on the guest's faces. He glanced back to Kim, who looked like she was 2 seconds away from murdering him. Then Lisa, who looked hurt. Stacey, who was disapproving. Finally, he looked back at Ramona.

"Rammy?" he started.

"No," Ramona said, her voice uneven. "No more. That's the only thing… the ONLY thing… that could have changed this."

Then, with a rush, Ramona turned and ran down the stairs, up the aisle and out of the back doors of the church.

Scott looked around nervously. There were a lot of angry faces in the crowd now. He smiled nervously and seemed to be looking everywhere for some kind of help. "So… on to the reception?"

…

"My family really ISN'T good at that inner monologue stuff, huh?" Lily said, a look of embarrassment on her face.

"To say the least," Lisa agreed.

"But… if that's how the story ends… how am I here?" Lily asked, seemingly worried.

"Oh… don't worry… that isn't the end of the story. But as you can see, I'm out of water again, so it'll have to hold you for a minute while I go get more," Lisa said as she stood up, gesturing to her empty bottle.

"Seriously, I think you may actually drink too MUCH water," Lily remarked.

"Only when I'm remembering stressful things," Lisa answered.

…

The cat's out of the bag, due to Scott's lack of inner monologue ability **(Kim Pine Note: Just great…)**. So… what happens next in the story of Scott and Ramona? Will they ever get married? **(Lily Pilgrim Note: I certainly hope so… I like to think Mom is actually… you know… Mom)** Stay tuned for the next part of our story!


	5. Chapter 4: Wedding, Take 2

1Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim story or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

A/N: So here's the final chapter of my wedding story. It's taken a long time to write, but there's a special treat in this one. That's right... I managed to get Voice4TheMute (the guy I largely consider one of the best going) to guest write for me. Look for his writing as Kim's Maid of Honor speech (because who better to write a speech for Kim Pine than the man who wrote her entire freakin story on here... check it out if you haven't already). Also, this story is going to be it for a little while. I've been writing pretty much non-stop since starting Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World, and I think it's time to recharge a little. But make no mistake.. I will return with an awesome story. :-D As for right now though, you don't care anything about all that. You just wanna see the end of this story, and so... here it is!

Scott and Ramona's Precious Little Wedding

Chapter 4

As Lisa Miller **(Status: Drinking the last bottle of water for the night… she promises)** sat back down, Lily looked at her with a nervousness in her eyes.

"Aunt Lisa?" Lily asked.

"Mmm?" Lisa gurgled as she drank some of her water.

"Mom… really IS my mom, right?" Lily grimaced.

"Of course she is."

"And my mom and dad are really married, right?" Lily continued her line of questioning.

"Yes."

This caused her to pause for a moment. "How?" Lily asked.

"I'm getting to that… I told you the story wasn't over," Lisa said with a hint of a smile.

…

Ramona Flowers **(Status: Should have known better…)** ran out of the church, through the courtyard and into the woods nearby. As she ran through the brush, branches tore at her dress and scratched at her skin, but she didn't care. She just had to get away.

She finally stopped in a clearing and fell into the grass, laying there and looking at the clouds as they passed by. How could she have been so blind? She was usually so observant… so in tune with what was going on. But the wedding planning had taken over. In hindsight, she could see it. The awkwardness with Kim… the fact that Lisa and Scott hadn't really talked much at all since she arrived… it was all signs pointing to what she was sure was obvious to everyone else.

Ramona closed her eyes.

…

Back at the church, Scott Pilgrim was distraught **(Status: Distraught… see?)**. Sitting alone in the groom's changing area, he could hear the angry grumbling of the guests outside the door. But that didn't hurt him nearly as much as the image burned into his head, the one that kept playing itself over and over again. Ramona, hurt, leaving him at the altar because of his own stupidity.

"You really ARE an idiot, aren't you Scott?"

Scott glanced up to see Kim Pine standing over him. "Oh.. hey Kim…"

"Hey Kim?' That's what you say to me after this?" Kim was livid. "I TOLD you that it was a mistake and you didn't need to tell Ramona, and what did you do? You waited until the EXACT wrong moment to tell her!"

Scott lowered his head. After a few moments, he spoke again. "I'm glad she knows," he muttered.

"You're WHAT?" Kim couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I'm glad she knows," Scott said again, lifting his head to face Kim. "I've already had my second chance, for this exact thing. She forgave me for cheating on her with Knives **(Lily Pilgrim Note: WHAT?)(Lisa Miller Note: For that, I'm going to suggest you just read the books)**, but she won't forgive me this time. And I'm glad. I don't deserve her. I never did," he sighed as he put his head back down.

Kim looked at him for a long time, trying to figure out what he'd just said. Scott Pilgrim admitting fault wasn't such a new thing. He'd already done that to her before she'd left for her parents' house. But there was something new in his voice. Yes, he was hurt that Ramona had left, but he understood it. He accepted it. He wasn't blaming the tequila, or Kim, or anything for what he'd done.

"Maybe I was wrong about you needing kids to grow up," Kim said. "Alright… I know I'm going to regret this, but I'm gonna do something for you. If I can…" she added after thinking a moment. "I'll be back…"

With that, Kim walked out of the room, bumping directly into Lisa, who was obviously going in to check on Scott.

"Hey Kim… how is…" Lisa started.

"Don't finish that sentence," Kim said. "We've got stuff to do, so you're coming with me."

"Where?" Lisa asked as Kim dragged her away.

"You'll see."

…

It only took a few minutes for Kim and Lisa to find the path Ramona had taken. It took less time for them to catch up with her **(Kim Pine Note: It's not like she'd gotten far… I watched her pick out those shoes, she wasn't getting away too quickly)**. As they walked out into the clearing, Ramona sat up in the grass.

"What the hell are YOU two doing here?" she spat.

Kim winced. She knew she deserved that. "Believe it or not, we're here to plead with you on behalf of Scott Pilgrim," she answered.

"I have nothing to say to you OR him," Ramona replied, laying back down in the grass to imply the matter was closed.

Kim cleared her throat. "Excuse me, Miss Flowers, but you're coming off as a little high and mighty here…"

That jolted Ramona back up. "What?"

"Scott Pilgrim loves you," Kim stated. "He loves you more than anyone else on this planet. Hell… just to get him to sleep with me, I had to drug him with a bottle of tequila!" she embellished just a little.

"I really don't wanna hear about it," Ramona retorted.

"Good, cause I don't wanna talk about it," Kim answered. "But I do want to talk about the fact that this guy loves you. And he always will. But Ramona… he's a guy. A particularly DUMB guy!"

That thought made Ramona smile just a bit, though she wasn't sure if it was her current feeling toward Scott that made the idea of him being dumb funny.

Kim saw the smile, and knew what she was saying MUST be getting through. "He's a dumb guy that's gonna make mistakes. But what about the mistakes you made? What about the times you hurt HIM?"

The smile disappeared, but Ramona wasn't laying back down.

"You made out with Roxie **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Even though I know… that's still kind of gross…)**. You basically cheated on him with your ex-girlfriend," Kim continued. "Then, you left him. Without a reason… without anything… just… left. You didn't see how much that devastated him. And he still came back to you."

"But… he cheated on me with YOU guys," Ramona said.

"Would you rather he cheat on you with complete strangers?" Lisa added.

"Not helping, Lisa," Kim monotoned. Then she turned back to Ramona. "For that I do apologize. I should have said something… but that's even more reason for you to come back. He told you," Kim said. "He wanted to tell you before you did anything permanent, so you'd know. So you'd be aware of everything he'd done, and so your wedding wouldn't be a sham. Yes… he chose a crap time to do so, but he still did. He was attempting to be honest with it. He always wanted to be."

Lisa jumped in. "And it's not completely his fault either. When he was with me, he was hurting from fighting with you. When he was with Kim… he was drunk. But if anything… be mad at us. We took advantage of him in situations where he wasn't at his strongest."

Kim grimaced, but she knew that was the truth, and nothing but the truth would help here. Ramona just sat in silence.

"I'm not asking that you come back and get married and have a little girl in a few years," Kim pleaded. "All I'm asking you to do is hear him out. He loves you… he wants nothing but your happiness… and that's gotta count for something, right?"

More silence in the clearing. Kim and Lisa continued to look at Ramona, who looked down at the grass she was sitting in. Finally she spoke. "Okay… I'll hear what he has to say for himself… now… can you guys help me up? I didn't think this whole 'sitting down in the grass' thing through with this dress on," she added as she held out her hands.

Kim and Lisa smiled and grabbed her hands, pulling her to her feet. Ramona dusted herself off as best she could. "Oh… I'm also still not sure if I forgive you guys," she said as she started walking back to the edge of the clearing."

Lisa grimaced, but Kim shrugged it off. "I've had enough dealings with life debts in the last few weeks to know what's up… tell you what… any kid you guys have? Free drum lessons for life."

Ramona lifted an eyebrow. "Wouldn't you have done that anyway?"

"No. I was going to charge you 1500 dollars a month, but wouldn't you know it? I owe you for life now," Kim said with a smirk.

"I don't know whether to be offended by that or touched, Kim," Ramona said.

"Whatever lets us stay friends," Kim answered.

"And I'll help watch out for Scott… who knows? He hasn't hit on Julie yet," Lisa joked, trying to lighten the mood. Ramona burst out laughing, so the attempt obviously worked.

As they reached the edge of the clearing, Scott Pilgrim **(Status: Willing to do whatever it takes to get Ramona back!)** suddenly appeared in front of them.

"Ramona!" he shouted.

He rushed forward and knelt in front of Ramona, holding her hand as she looked on in surprise. Kim and Lisa slowly backed away, sensing this really wasn't a time for them to be involved.

"Ramona… I'm sorry for everything. I love you, and whatever I have to do to make it up to you… I will. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, because that's how long it'll take me… just give me the chance," he pleaded.

"I don't know Scott…" Ramona said. "That really hurt."

"I know," Scott said. He didn't look away from Ramona's eyes though. "And I know it's a lesson I should have learned a long time ago. But if you give me another chance, I promise it will not happen again. I'll take everything more seriously this time."

"I don't want you to take everything seriously," answered Ramona. "That's not the problem here. The problem here is I can't trust you with any of our female friends."

Scott finally lowered his eyes. "I guess not…"

"Scott… it's okay," Ramona said. "I know I haven't been the perfect girlfriend either. And who knows? I probably won't be the perfect wife, no more than you'll be the perfect husband. But…" she paused, "I love you… and I can look past your mistakes, if only because you looked past mine."

Scott looked up immediately. "So… does that mean you'll forgive me, and we can still get married?"

Ramona looked at Scott, and then looked at Kim and Lisa, who looked at the ground. Ramona saw that Lisa had her fingers crossed **(Lisa Miller Note: Whatever it takes, right?)**. Then she turned back to Scott. "Yes Scott… I'll forgive you… on ONE condition."

Scott jumped up, thoroughly excited. "Anything!" he exclaimed.

Ramona couldn't help but smile at the exuberance on Scott's face at being given a second chance **(Ramona Flowers Note: Technically a third, but who's counting?)**. She put her fingers on his lips to calm him down. "No drinking… ever…. EVER… again!"

"Done!" Scott said with a smile. "Besides… it was yucky to begin with."

"Glad you think so," Ramona said.

"So… does that mean we're still having a wedding?" Wallace Wells **(Status: Came to make sure Scott didn't do any more dumb stuff)** asked from the edge of the clearing. "I mean… I spent a lot of time on this best man's speech, and it'd be a shame if I didn't get to use it."

"I don't know… we only had the church for a few hours, and the minister for less than that," Ramona answered.

"No problem," Wallace answered with a smile. "You know Mobile is a minister **(Mobile: ApellaZant's Deus ex Machina of choice!)**, right?"

Ramona looked puzzled. "No… I didn't know that,"

Wallace smiled as he took a drink of his margarita **(Lisa Miller Note: Where the hell he got a margarita in the middle of the woods, no one knows…)**.

…

Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers stood in the middle of the field, surrounded by a few of their closest friends **(Lisa Miller Note: Most of the more distant relatives and such had already left)**. Mobile stood between them, smiling. In the fading afternoon light, they exchanged rings **(Jinx Ring - Ring of Power Upgrade! +7 to All Stats!)**, and kissed.

Mobile addressed the small crowd. "I now present the new Mr. and Mrs. Scott Pilgrim!"

"Flowers-Pilgrim," Ramona added under her breath.

Everyone present applauded wildly as Scott and Ramona stood hand in hand.

Kim was among the people clapping when a man with short brown hair came and stood beside her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, which he took as an invitation to say something.

"Hey… you the maid of honor?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "What's it to you?"

"Just curious," he replied. "Isn't the best man gay?"

"He's not my date," Kim said.

"Well… if you'd like one… let me know," the man said with a smile as he walked off. Kim watched him join the rest of the crowd in congratulating the newlyweds before shaking her head and following everyone toward the reception. Kim just rolled her eyes.

…

For the reception, everyone just stayed in the forest clearing. Stephen Stills and Neil got a table from the church and moved it out into the clearing **(Stephen Stills Note: Remind me to use subspace the next time I move… that was a LOT easier)**. As the light faded, everyone lit candles and placed them on the table for light **(Lisa Miller Note: Yeah… fire in the middle of a forest. That's perfectly safe, right?)**.

After everyone had settled down, Wallace stood up.

"Ladies and gentlemen… I thought now would be a good time for me to make my little speech!" he announced. "Now… no one here knows Scott Pilgrim as well as I do. We shared an apartment… we shared a bed." Everyone laughed. "We shared a bond of brotherhood. And to be honest… I didn't think he'd ever find a girl. I mean… there was the fake high school girlfriend phase, but we all knew that wasn't going to work… sorry Knives," he saluted her with his glass. "But then he met Ramona… and the craziness began! There were exes to be fought, and issues to be sorted out, And I don't know about all of you guys… but I was proud to be on the front lines with Scott Pilgrim. I wanted him to win! And he did. He beat the pirate, the skateboarder, the rocker, the lesbian and the twins. He even beat that **XXX** Gideon!" Wallace was beginning to sway back and forth a bit **(Wallace Wells Note: I've been drinking since 3… can you blame me?)**. "And finally… he came out on top! And we all cheered! Now… tonight… we get to cheer again. We get to cheer the fact that Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers are finally… FINALLY married."

Wallace turned and raised a glass in the couple's direction. "So… here's hoping you guys are done with the craziness, and now you can settle down to the REAL stuff… marriage and kids! Just know… whatever happens… we'll never abandon you."

Scott and Ramona started the applause as Wallace sat down. Then, the crowd shifted to look expectantly at Kim. She ignored it for a moment, but eventually the heat of everyone's gaze got to her.

"Alright alright…" she said as she stood up. "I've never been one for public speaking… but here goes. Good evening everyone. I'm Kim Pine, Ramona's Maid of Honor. I think we can all say that when we came here this morning, we didn't expect to attend the first AND second wedding of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers. But then again, we all didn't expect a second wedding to happen in the first place. As I'm sure all of you saw at the church," she glanced at Ramona and Scott with a bit of a frown, "secrets were revealed, people were hurt, and things didn't look good in the long run. But what would have ruined a normal relationship…only made this one stronger. Scott and Ramona aren't your average couple. Ramona had her own troubles…and as we all saw today, Scott has his own. But what made this work…was love. True love. And I'm not talking about shoving candies down your girlfriend's throat or giving roses or being spontaneous…but real, emotional, love. Things like sacrifice, commitment, all those other painful words that people stay away from when they find themselves in a serious relationship. These two may be the polar opposites of one another, they may have their own baggage that they carry on their backs, but what makes their relationship work is their desire to make it work."

Kim cleared her throat, and then turned specifically to Scott **(Lisa Miller Note: With a much softer expression than I've ever seen her use with him)**. "Scott sacrificed his easy-going life to one of responsibility. Ramona sacrificed her life of living in the moment to one of close friendships and love. Now that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice who you are. Scott is still that carefree imbecile that we've come to know and Ramona still has a smoke every now and then **(Lily Pilgrim Note: Mom smokes?)**. But through all the sacrifice and commitment comes love. Love in its purist form. The kind of love where you know that when it all hits the fan, you STILL want to be with him or her. I mean, we wouldn't be here if that wasn't the case, right? I've been rattling my brain all week for the perfect Scott and Ramona moment…trying to find a 'diamond in the rough' story that best represents Scott and Ramona's relationship. To be honest, I didn't have a memory I could share…until now. The perfect Scott and Ramona moment happened just an hour ago…when Ramona ran from the altar. Lisa and I ran after Ramona since we were responsible for what happened, and after talking some sense into her and apologizing for our actions, we went back together and witnessed Scott's apology to her. But in my mind, I like to think what we saw was the actual wedding. Scott gave his vow to her that he will love her forever and wants to spend the rest of his life with her and Ramona told him that she forgives him, and accepts everything about him: his  
>strengths, his faults, all of the baggage that he carries…with one condition, that Scott doesn't drink anymore. Sorry Scott..." Kim smiled a bit as she took Scott's glass of champagne from him. "This is my promise to both of you… I will personally make sure you never drink again."<p>

Kim turned back toward the crowd of their friends and raised her glass. "To Scott and Ramona… whatever happens in the future for these two, may they always remember that they never have to go through it alone…that they never have to run away from their troubles or their past… may they never have to run again."

Uproarious applause came from the group, as Kim sat back down.

…

"It's time for the bouquet toss ladies!" Wallace yelled over the chatter of the reception. Ramona had stood and positioned herself off to the side, and a crowd of girls was slowly forming near her. As she prepared to throw the flowers, a voice wafted over the others.

"Out of my way **XXXXXXX!** If anyone's catching this thing, it's gonna be me!" yelled Julie Powers.

"She says as though someone would want to marry her," Kim said under her breath as Julie pushed her aside.

Ramona turned around and closed her eyes. After just a moment, she threw her bouquet high into the air. It spiraled end over end, in almost slow motion, as it fell back down towards the crowd of girls. It almost seemed to seek out Kim as it neared the ground. Kim closed her eyes, trying to psychically will it away **(Kim Pine Note: Never wanted to be a vegan more in my life)**.

And then Julie snatched it out of the air just above Kim's head.

"Yeah!" she cheered as she jumped up and down. "That's right!"

"And now, the garter toss to see who will join Julie in the next dance… and possibly more?" Wallace yelled as Scott joined Ramona.

Scott ducked his head underneath Ramona's dress, which made her a little uncomfortable, but he quickly came out with the garter. A crowd of boys gathered nearby, but unlike the girls, who had jostled for position to get in a better place for a catch, the boys seemed to be trying to push each other to the front, keeping themselves out of the line of fire.

Julie noticed what was happening. "Oh come on!" she yelled.

Scott took the garter and turned his back to the crowd. He took aim and shot the garter backwards… right into the unwilling hands of Neil Nordegraf! He looked around in shock for a moment before throwing the garter to the ground.

"A winner! Neil Nordegraf!" Wallace yelled.

"But… but…" he stammered. Before he could say anything else though, Julie grabbed him and dragged him off to the 'dance floor' that had been loosely set aside by the party. He looked back at Stacey, his eyes wide.

"It's okay!" Stacey yelled after him. "I'll be right here!"

Scott and Ramona joined them on the dance floor, where Julie looked annoyed that she was stuck dancing with Neil. As Kim looked on, the man who had talked to her earlier came up behind her.

"You want to dance, red?" he asked.

"Name's Kim," Kim answered as she sighed.

"You want to dance, Kim?" the man pressed.

"If I say yes, will you leave me alone?" Kim replied.

"I'm guessing you're looking for a yes?" the man continued.

Kim nodded.

"Then yes," the man smiled.

Kim held out her hand and allowed him to lead her out on the dance floor.

…

"Wait… who was the guy dancing with Aunt Kim?" Lily asked.

Lisa smiled. "That's a story for another day."

…

Scott and Ramona sat back down at the table. In the middle of the table sat one of the larger cakes anyone had ever seen. Atop the cake, two elves, one in green and one in pink, stood.

As they enjoyed some of the cake, Knives Chau **(Status: Happy that this day ended up going… well)** walked up, a slightly intimidated man coming up behind her. "Congratulations, guys!" she almost yelled.

Ramona smiled. "Thanks Knives." Then she noticed the man behind Knives, and regarded him with a curious look. "Who's the guy?"

Knives looked back at him. "Oh… he's just my study partner. Brad Porter. I asked him to come with me so I didn't have to come without a date."

Kim Pine **(Status: So glad this day is almost over)**, who was sitting next to Ramona, leaned forward. "What's wrong with not having a date?" she asked as she narrowed her eyes.

Lisa Miller **(Status: So glad she didn't ruin this day)** leaned on Kim. "Awww… would you like me to be your date Kim?" she teased.

"Don't be weird," Kim answered as she cut her eyes at Lisa.

Knives laughed as she turned back to Ramona and Scott. "Anyway… Brad suggested ice cream, so we're gonna go. Good luck you two, and have fun on your honeymoon!"

Ramona smiled and turned to Scott. "That reminds me… where are we going for our honeymoon?"

Scott stopped for a moment. "Umm… Rome? Paris? How about London?"

Ramona rolled her eyes. "You have no idea, do you?"

"…no?"

"I love you, Scott Pilgrim," Ramona sighed as she put her head on Scott's shoulder.

…

"And that's the story of how your parents got married," Lisa said with a flourish of her hand.

"So there wasn't anything weird. No one attacked them?" Lily asked.

"No. It was just your normal wedding that was then broken up by the groom sleeping with two of the bridesmaids and then getting back together in time to have a second wedding by candlelight," Lisa answered.

"Wow… I hope I have better luck than that…" Lily said as she looked at the ground.

"Sorry honey, but I doubt it. You're a Pilgrim. Nothing's ever easy for a Pilgrim," Lisa said as she stood up. "Now… we've got a big day of shopping tomorrow, so it's probably time to get some rest."

Lisa walked up the stairs, leaving Lily to sit on the couch and think about the story she'd just heard. As soon as Lisa was out of sight, Lily pulled out her phone and began texting.

**You are NEVER allowed to drink… EVER!**

She sent the message to Little C **(Note: Did you really think I wasn't going to mention him this entire story?)**, then put the phone back in her pocket and went upstairs.

**THE END**


End file.
